Imma Be – Black Eyed Peas

Oh God no. This is… awful. Someone really has to tell Fergie: “No, you’re not hot; no, I don’t want to touch your humps; and, for God’s sake, you’re not a fucking bee!” You see, the problem here is that while the rest of us knew better, Fergie believed her parents when they told her that she was amazingly talented., – while their names look like a website URL from a strange foreign country, are actually good producers. Fergie, on the other hand, is not. Props to her, however – at least she has a fairly solid grasp on the concept of punctuation. Under no circumstances has she ever put two full stops in the middle of a proper noun.

Listen, Stacey, you don’t sound good. This is not a good song. The Black Eyed Peas have released some good music in the past. This is not it. This is not anything like it. And, even though I’ve said it before – Fergie. In case you’re reading this, which I highly doubt, you are not a bee. So please stop claiming that you are. Because you are not.

You can have a score of two for the song’s novelty value. And for your passionate insistence that you are, in fact, a bee. Even though you are not.


Not Going Home – Faithless

Electronic juggernauts Faithless have departed from their recent delve into trip hop and returned to their roots in pure house music. In Not Going Home, the trio drop their politically conscious lyrics in favour of dance-hall influenced lines such as “I watch the rhythm slide right up your dress”. Maxi Jazz’s smooth, gravelly vocals are sure to melt even the coldest heart. The production work is also great, with Sister Bliss and Rollo sticking to repetitive, catchy hooks and clever vocal effects, all set against a typical house drum beat. It all sounds very simple, but to put it all together and get it to work is a complex task.

On the surface, the whole track is just a standard, generic house track, but when you look deeper into it, the intricate, thick programming and production and smooth, brilliant vocals make “Not Going Home” stand out amongst the recent crowd of dance music and pave the way for a comeback from one of the UK’s most beloved electronic acts.